January 18, 2022 3 min read 1 Comment
It’s been 40 years today since I lost my mom to a massive stroke.
When I say the words "I lost my mom", it feels odd, because you can always try and look for anything you lost, like a ring, a set of keys, you get my point. Losing my Mom isn't like losing a ring, or a set of keys or your most prized possession. It left a huge hole in my heart, which will never, ever go away and nothing I could ever find would ever replace that hole.
Losing a parent means I’ve joined a club I wouldn’t want even my worst enemy to be a part of. If you’ve lost a parent, you’ll understand. Just a simple drive past a place I visited with her, or even purchasing a food my Mom loved or made for me makes my eyes start to tear.
People told me time would help – but here it is 40 years later and I just think I cope differently. You see, I always miss her, especially for every single milestone that she missed. You know, my wedding(s), the births of my 4 children, the birthday parties, the religious events, the school & sporting events and all of my other children’s amazing accomplishments. I know she would be so proud of my children and would be such a loving grandma and great grandma.
A million things have taken on so many new shapes and meanings and a million words over the years just never sounded the same or brought comfort like they used to. Holidays, baking and family traditions do not come with a dry eye, but nonetheless, it is important to continue them. Watching The Wizard of Oz, The Sound of Music or even beauty pageants are hard to get through without a dry eye too because I watched them with her.
My Mom loved fashion and also loved to shop, so everything I do here at the boutique in some way reminds me of time spent with her. Forty years and at the most random times, I think of her.
Forty years later, I am still kind of jealous of everyone else who still has a mom. (Especially when they take her for granted.) Because darling, you have no idea how lucky you are and how much I want to be in your shoes. Cherish them. Love them. Be thankful you have one more day with them.
Mom, you may not have given birth to me, but at 2 months of age, you chose to be my Mom and till I was 16, you showed me nothing but love. You were the BEST mom a girl could ask for and 40 years later, I miss you as much as I did, forty years ago.
Hug your babies tight. Tell your mom you love her. Seek her advice and wisdom. Don't take these moments for granted. You only have one mom and when she's gone you'll wish you'd never said an ugly word to her your whole life.
My Mom’s favorite song was Alice Blue Gown, (link below) written in 1919 by Harry Tierney with words by Joseph McCarthy for the Broadway musical Irene.
Alice Blue is an icy white blue color that was popularized in fashion by Alice Roosevelt Longworth, the oldest daughter of U.S. President Theodore Roosevelt. My mother loved fashion as I mentioned and played the piano and sang beautifully, and this was a song I remember very well.
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